Requirement for Breaking Things

i cannot get far enough away

to stop pretending i am celebrating
and find out if i really am

the promise of her eyes flickers
neon sign in a dirty convenience
in dark flashes i see a ghost reflected
but—we leave the lights on

i cannot rouse myself
shattered pieces all around
exhaust me with requirement
before i even make a move

the shadows do not satisfy
but cringing at her touch i think
how can this be anything else

2/20/24