Fathers

i dreamt the Fatherless dream:
ever-present myth-man haunted,
i strove for self-denied acceptance.

they never find it,
these child-presidents and emperors--
Fathering nations to protest their own orphanage. and we
pity them; vote for them; submit to them;
and i dream of their lives.

there is a reason
behind social ills, books say. and i know
it has to do with Chance: the roll of genetic dice by which
one boy returns from hospital birth in
a car his uncle drives.

not Fathers, are we brother-uncles:
no mythic beauty. we have but
pity-love, Fatherless dreams.




July '09

assertions

trouble is: i cursed myself, i guess
upset some deep magic--well, these things happen.
not much left for it, but to wait
or buy a gun & life insurance; options, options.

i ran afoul! the deal was simple
so i thought. i worked for a man who sold his image
protected by steep vows--
irony, how he disbelieved them,
but oh! they believed in him
and i (fool!) believed neither.

Plato asked why we needed such gods--
serve Truth herself! but no, innocent philosopher:
we need gods not for Truth
but for deliverance from evil
--if no gods lived, who would fell
other gods on our behalf?

and i: such a stupid little man
no mantle gods to defend my clumsy reach
or even stay my hand. i struck
a fool's blow and staggered back, leering, aghast, self-cursed.




july '09

glamour.

see here.
there are rocks in the ocean--
wait, you don't understand:
solid monoliths, larger than apartment buildings
all one piece.

they are built when Earth wrinkles.
we snorkel around them like gnats.

and they!--they are but pebbles
in the wide Sea.
how could we understand?

i knew a girl years ago, with a freckled smile
like some bit of garden
beautifully forgot.
this year she is a painted mannequin.
no! no, i don't understand:
perhaps for better.

considering everything--i'm quite small.




july '09