2B

the gloaming sky dimmed
through those tall naked windows
and unwrapped fingers, feeling vacant
plaster air in room 2B: "i remember here,"
tendered rasping lips between "aha! i've learned
my lesson," and "so! this is how she looks
nude." standing on his floor amidst
echoes and so much dust, he ambled
up the broad quiet alley with carelessly
laboring eyesteps. "houses are so colorful
here," he told her once, and though
she wasn't listening, they were:
who can tell how many years of souls recall
this steep decline, the split colors
on the wall by the duplex and
the Italian grandmothers feeding
their ovens' bread to the birds
who live in that shady tree?
those victims of memory
live in silence and the empty white
walls, carbon-scarred from candles and cigars; 2B
held so much life! and yellowish beyond. held his
one year, and in the walls he met the ghosts
collected by Before. outdoors,
grudging somnambulists brought such giant trucks
to clear the way for drywall and smooth cement:
this row will be so modern! smelling
new for infant academics--
they'll gawk at towers, moving sofas in
--he watched them
swarm around, light the basement
charges while he stood his floor above.
one bright moment! when all the walls opened wide
and time's faded prisoners rushed out together,
he died with the rubbled house amidst its
ancient kings.




8/12/08 - i miss things, like living in oakland and having my own room and kitchen and such. life is never terrible if you wake up for it, i suppose, but i'm having trouble getting myself to wake up to where i'm at for wishing i was so many other places.

clouds!

clouds, you fools! up here i can see, and you
nutty little men below, far too bothered by dirt
and where are the painted lines--what do you
know? here the mighty highways are merely
misplaced hairs on this topographicality. and see
how humbly the humbling majestic mountains are
growing so awkwardly organic here, top-down
jagged fingers don't soar, overwhelm or frighten,
so here i can see! atmospheric suns never dim
the shining face-gracing messianic light, and
oh! this vision, i feel it with such innocent
naivete-! we can all trust in these clouds, we'll
make new cities between them, i'll write such laws
with hope: clouds, o clouds my citizens, we have
such a dream of clouds!




8/7/08 - this utterly boring election makes me ill: two little boys playing at politics, and not very well.

deader

then
everything stopped
and all around
sounds of silence
glistened. heat waves
on cars wiggled
their arms in jest
of things we don't
understand. i,
like everyone,
tried to keep on
my way, but found
i couldn't move.
when my mouth bleeds
everything tastes
like blood: "it gets
everywhere," he
murmured on walls
between lonely
silent sips of
laziness. now
he earns money,
but the circles
scar like purple
tears down the sides
of his nose, and
i say that it
(being money)
simply is not
worth so much life.
someday he might
understand, and
then
it will be quiet:
even movement
shall fall silent
in deference;
for poverty
and wisdom drift
nearby, singing
clear harmony,
hands together
in our city's
old alleyways.




8/6/08 - last year was unbelievably lazy; i never did anything. and now i'm constantly overworked, my mind is quick and i push to get everything done again--but i don't know which i prefer. between the lazy loneliness and the frantic accomplishment there's wisdom somewhere.

stupid dawn

alarm! i
look, it's
sort of
bright,
a glaring
eye-closer
smiling
obnoxiously
early. so i'll
dive back in:
tepid, oceanic
unconsciousness,
sheet waves.

alarm! i
brain-mumble,
what tie?
can i
excusably
skip today?
not just
life--
work school & love
--but
today, on
the calendar:
can i skip it?




8/1/08 - full time work is kind of a pain in the ass.