The Tidal Wave

The tidal wave, which changed everything

rivulets of water rushing inland, up hills,
marking out fresh new valley walls where
once there had been shopping centers, for example,
stilled into an infant shoreline I could stand upon
to peer across the shining water flats, vast
feature of a suddenly foreign landscape. Then,
not all at once, but with lapping incrementality,
drip by drip the pools withdrew back to the sea
or seeped into the porous ground, to leave behind
only mudded evidence of all it had destroyed
and myself, no longer gazing on a sea but
merely standing somewhere midway up a hill
of no particular importance.

equivocation

Milling about as if--

there's nothing better to do

nothing we could be accomplishing

we chose to stand in the heat

our children irritate us on purpose

life is a useless tract of time

meaning is meaningless

--but none of it,

hear me, none of that,

is so.

9/2/23

celebration

the sad executive
upon promotion, drank heavily

robbed of his resentment.

what now? happiness?

not from seeds of such rich malaise.

cups empty, thoughts wild

he dreams of moving on

stray visions of mountain poetry

while practicing false smiles for the meeting.

9/2/23

dad

Name it
or don't--
anxiety clawing a hole in my chest

oh that's trite, isn't it?

Mosquitos slinking around, landing:

not sure why I'm like this

maybe I could sleep it off,

maybe that would make it worse.

Do loud noises set it off

cacophony of happy childhoods

or autocorrect, say everything twice:

I might be a good parent

but do I hate parenting? I think I do.

Endless interruption

endless interruption

endless interr--

try not to be short with the little ones.

I'm having an anxiety attack.

I don't have time to but I am:

the questions don't ever stop so

I guess I'll have this crisis later.

Sure kid, let's play

Dad

Dad

hey Dad

Dad?

Dad. Dad. Dad.

Dad--

Dad

There's a scream in my throat

I'll let it out when I'm fifty maybe

or from the grave.

8/21/23

life lessons

a deepthroat desire for warm food or
cigarettes: maybe i can eat a mouthful

"if you strain against the ropes you make it worse"
hypnotizes the Good Guy from kids TV

is me talking to myself, white knuckles
in the slow lane getting slower

life has no protagonists, even if they promise you.
this lane never gets any less hungry


10/30/23